USE A SPERM BANK, LADIES

When we were in the process of conceiving our first child through IVF we were interviewed by a PhD candidate. She was comparing the experiences of lesbians who had kids by adopting, using alternative insemination or putting the eggs of one woman in the womb of the second.

One thing she told us is that every couple she interviewed who didn't use a sperm bank regretted it or had problems. Using a "friend" as a sperm donor sets lesbians up for big problems later on. This is different with egg donors because courts see two mothers and don't think a third mom is needed. But women without a man in charge of their lives are dangerous and deficient. Sperm donors are frequently awarded custody of the children of lesbians. If you don't want the hassles of divorce without the rights of marriage, use a sperm bank ladies.

"Sperm donor wins Irish custody battle

Thu Jul 19, 9:34 PM ET

SUMMARY: A lesbian couple wed in a U.K. civil union cannot take their 14-month-old boy to one mom's native Australia for long periods, the judge rules.

A man who donated his sperm to a lesbian couple won a legal fight Thursday to keep his biological son in Ireland.

The Supreme Court judgment was a first in Ireland, a predominantly Roman Catholic country where the rights of same-sex couples and sperm donors have not been spelled out. Now the couple, wed in a civil-union ceremony in England, cannot spend long periods in Australia with their 14-month-old boy as planned, but can only vacation there for up to six weeks.

Another courtroom battle between the man and the couple looms over joint custody of the boy.

Two judges, Justices Susan Denham and Joseph Finnegan, ruled that the toddler's best interests required him to stay in Ireland near his biological father. The third judge, Justice Nial Fennelly, disagreed, arguing no evidence was offered that the boy would be harmed by leaving Ireland.

"The case is utterly unique and unprecedented," Fennelly wrote in his dissent, noting that neither the parental rights of sperm donors nor lesbian couples are defined in Irish law.

Neither side has been publicly identified, following Ireland's policy of granting anonymity to family law litigants.

The lesbian couple -- an Irishwoman and an Australian -- exchanged vows in January 2006, just after same-sex civil unions were legalized in the United Kingdom. The Irishwoman was pregnant by the Irish sperm donor, who signed a contract giving him visitation rights.

The boy, born in May 2006, has his biological father's name as his middle name, and the couple initially granted the man regular visits. But tensions quickly grew, both sides' lawyers agreed.

The couple restricted the man's access to the boy, then announced they planned to go to Australia for up to a year. The man filed two lawsuits -- one to restrict the trip and another seeking joint custody. The custody case is to be heard this fall.

Thursday's verdict upheld a judgment by High Court Justice Henry Abbott, who ruled the couple could take the boy to Australia for six weeks. The Supreme Court held that until the custody claim is considered, the boy should travel outside Ireland for only a limited period. (Shawn Pogatchnik, AP) "

BALLING HYSTERICALLY

There have been several stories I've read about lesbians who get pregnant at the same time to complete their family all at once. Having been through two pregnancies together, my wife and I think this is nuts. Who runs out for the pickles and ice cream at 2am if both women are pregnant? Who carries the groceries?

I was just reading about two women who each gave birth to sextuplets on the same day. When I told my wife about this, she said "Is that those two lesbians who both got pregnant at the same time? Bad planning on their part!". She was just joking, but I thought it was pretty funny, the idea that a female couple could end up with 12 babies at once.

No, each woman who gave birth to sextuplets was married to a man. They have more in common than that. Both couples see the conception of the six babies as "an act of God", even though they both needed fertility treatment to get pregnant. Of course, each saw selective reduction as against God's plan.

I'm fine with people not seeing an infertility diagnosis as "God's plan". But how is that not the plan and having to take powerful drugs that make you conceive too many children is? What God would plan that they carry six babies, give birth to six disabled children and, as with one of the women, experience heart failure upon giving birth?

Let's either leave things up to God entirely or take responsibility for our own selfish, destructive decisions. Poor God. S/he is not to blame for every stupid thing done by us humans. But the couples who gave birth to the sextuplets put it all on God. Their websites are chock full with prayer requests and discussions of "miracles". A miracle is when someone gives birth to a healthy child, not whelps a litter of innocent, damaged children who will never be well, just because they can.

At least one of the couples is fessing up to having used fertility drugs. Three rounds of increasingly strong drugs before the sextuplets were finally conceived. God's plan -- that the first two drugs didn't work but the third one did -- was not very efficient.

The second couple will only say they became pregnant through "artificial insemination". What?!? Call the sperm bank and get that guy's sample. He's the world's biggest stud if he can make a woman ovulate six eggs instead of the usual one or two. Obviously that couple used fertility drugs as well and is lying about it. Why? Because it wasn't them dooming their children to disability and forcing tax-payers to foot millions of dollars in medical bills, it was God.

I assumed that the news report I read on the "artificial insemination" couple was simply wrong, so I looked at the many press clippings on their website. Sure enough, the phrase "insemination" came up in each story, sometimes as a direct quote. This is a calculated effort on the part of the couple to deceive. They are completely open about every aspect of their story so it's not a privacy issue. It's a direct attempt to hide the truth.

There is one other possible explanation. Perhaps they conceived six children another way. The mother is quoted below:

"By azfamily.com

...it was a shock to learn Jenny was carrying sextuplets. The ultrasound technician showed the young mother-to-be something she never expected to see.

"So she counted and she was like, 'One, two, three, four,' and then she lost it and then I was like balling hysterically and I was like, 'Oh my God, I don't know.'" Then she's like five and I was like, 'Oh my gosh' and then she stopped,"

So that's how they conceived six: it wasn't "artificial insemination", it was "balling hysterically".

However it happened, people who claim to be pro-child and doom their own children leave me BAWLing hysterically.