Friday, December 15, 2006


We are leaving for two weeks' vacation. When we return, we will return to the story of searching for the best recipients in the world.

Happy Hannukah, Merry Christmas and Happy Solstice,



The first recipients to contact us sounded ok so we started discussing a possible donation. We were not totally thrilled with this couple, but we were willing to give them a shot. Would they accept just one embryo? Yes they would. Were they willing to use the clinic where the embryos were stored? It has the best pregnancy rate with frozen embryos of all US clinics. No, they did not want to travel.

Based on what came next, I will quote two sentences from their email. Since there is no identifying information linked to this short quote it is not a privacy violation.

Just so you know, we are fine with the one embryo, as we have no desire for twins.

They did not want to use our clinic. Because we had mentioned our clinic's pregnancy statistics as being the best in the country, they wrote back addressing the issue of success statistics for their clinic. There were no statistics for this couple's doctor. He was a solo practitioner because:

[We use the only] doctor in this area [who] will help gay women have babies. The doctors that actually work at [our clinic] are bible beaters, and won't even treat 'single'
women (gay women), but they do let [our doctor] use their facilities.

This was not confidence-inspiring. The couple refused to use the most successful infertility clinic in the US and instead chose to use a clinic so anti-gay and reactionary they would not even treat the infertility of single heterosexual women. A gay family, they also chose to live in the most legislatively gay-hating state in the USA. And they felt compelled to tell us that they had heterosexual friends. Duh, who doesn't? These women were starting to sound like they had severe judgement issues.

Should we even go ahead with this donation? The next thing they wrote changed everything.