The embryo donation coordinator at our clinic gave us important information we needed to complete the embryo donation contract. She agreed that it was possible to thaw one embryo at a time until a viable embryo was produced. If more embryos needed to be thawed it would not disrupt the recipients' transfer cycle.
She had even more important information for our recipients as they planned their doctor's visit. It was not necessary for Jenny and Erin to take the two-hour flight to our area to have their intake appointment at our clinic. If their doctor sent our fertility clinic the patient files before the appointment, Jenny and Erin could have their intake and work out a treatment plan over the phone. They would only have to come North for the actual embryo transfer procedure, saving them vacation time, effort and money better used for embryo transfer attempts.
Jenny and Erin asked if we thought they should fly up anyway or if they should do the intake over the phone. We assured them that it was not necessary for us to meet them in person, that we would go ahead with the donation based on our communication and negotiations to date. If they wanted to meet our kids and "see what they were getting" before going through with the contract they were welcome to do so.
The phone intake meant that Jenny and Erin could have had an appointment sooner, if they were willing to choose whichever doctor was available first. The doctor we recommended does not do phone intakes because English is not her first language but there was another doctor who, while new, had a great reputation. She was available for a phone apppointment, but no sooner than the in-person visit they had already scheduled.
In the end, Jenny and Erin decided to do their intake over the phone. As soon as the clinic accepted them we would sign over the embryos. We would be doing this without meeting them, and without their meeting us. And it would all happen within one month from the day we first spoke to them on the phone and told them we would donate to them. Jenny and Erin were breaking the world's record for getting and using donated embryos. And it was full speed ahead.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Sunday, February 11, 2007
MATCH PENDING
To finalize this embryo donation, we each had responsibilities. Jenny and Erin sent the attorney a retainer and I sent her a list of ideas for the contract. While waiting for the lawyer's office to prepare the contract I contacted MiraclesWaiting, the website I had used to find recipient candidates. I told the MW coordinator to change my listing from "active" to "Match Pending". This meant we were working on the contract and the embryos were spoken for, though the donation was not yet finalized.
Even with the "Match Pending" clearly featured in the listing headline, I continued to get requests for the embryos from eager recipients. One was from a Jewish woman who was clearly in touch with her heritage. I had a moment of wistfulness. If I had found a Jewish recipient I liked as much as Jenny and Erin, children from these embryos would grow up to know and embrace their genetic heritage. They would probably attend Hebrew school and learn to read the Bible in Hebrew. Once they had mastered that and been taught about my people's history their parents would probably encourage them to celebrate the Jewish coming-of-age ritual of the Bar Mitzvah (boys) or Bat Mitzvah (girls) which consists of the child reading from the Hebrew Bible in synagogue. A Jewish recipient's kids might even go to Jewish summer camp and learn the songs and games my own children were learning as they discovered their heritage. This new request reminded me that only embryos donated to a Jewish parent would enter the Covenant of Israel as had everyone before them who shared their genes.
As quickly as these images entered my mind, they passed. I knew it was almost impossible for children from this donation to have any of these experiences. They would be Jenny and Erin's children and raised Episcopalian or some other Protestant denomination. That was their parents' choice. And Jenny and Erin were their parents. I knew they would make the right choices for their children. Not in the least regretful or interested in other recipients, I was ready to let them begin.
Even with the "Match Pending" clearly featured in the listing headline, I continued to get requests for the embryos from eager recipients. One was from a Jewish woman who was clearly in touch with her heritage. I had a moment of wistfulness. If I had found a Jewish recipient I liked as much as Jenny and Erin, children from these embryos would grow up to know and embrace their genetic heritage. They would probably attend Hebrew school and learn to read the Bible in Hebrew. Once they had mastered that and been taught about my people's history their parents would probably encourage them to celebrate the Jewish coming-of-age ritual of the Bar Mitzvah (boys) or Bat Mitzvah (girls) which consists of the child reading from the Hebrew Bible in synagogue. A Jewish recipient's kids might even go to Jewish summer camp and learn the songs and games my own children were learning as they discovered their heritage. This new request reminded me that only embryos donated to a Jewish parent would enter the Covenant of Israel as had everyone before them who shared their genes.
As quickly as these images entered my mind, they passed. I knew it was almost impossible for children from this donation to have any of these experiences. They would be Jenny and Erin's children and raised Episcopalian or some other Protestant denomination. That was their parents' choice. And Jenny and Erin were their parents. I knew they would make the right choices for their children. Not in the least regretful or interested in other recipients, I was ready to let them begin.
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