Monday, July 2, 2007


When we were in the process of conceiving our first child through IVF we were interviewed by a PhD candidate. She was comparing the experiences of lesbians who had kids by adopting, using alternative insemination or putting the eggs of one woman in the womb of the second.

One thing she told us is that every couple she interviewed who didn't use a sperm bank regretted it or had problems. Using a "friend" as a sperm donor sets lesbians up for big problems later on. This is different with egg donors because courts see two mothers and don't think a third mom is needed. But women without a man in charge of their lives are dangerous and deficient. Sperm donors are frequently awarded custody of the children of lesbians. If you don't want the hassles of divorce without the rights of marriage, use a sperm bank ladies.

"Sperm donor wins Irish custody battle

Thu Jul 19, 9:34 PM ET

SUMMARY: A lesbian couple wed in a U.K. civil union cannot take their 14-month-old boy to one mom's native Australia for long periods, the judge rules.

A man who donated his sperm to a lesbian couple won a legal fight Thursday to keep his biological son in Ireland.

The Supreme Court judgment was a first in Ireland, a predominantly Roman Catholic country where the rights of same-sex couples and sperm donors have not been spelled out. Now the couple, wed in a civil-union ceremony in England, cannot spend long periods in Australia with their 14-month-old boy as planned, but can only vacation there for up to six weeks.

Another courtroom battle between the man and the couple looms over joint custody of the boy.

Two judges, Justices Susan Denham and Joseph Finnegan, ruled that the toddler's best interests required him to stay in Ireland near his biological father. The third judge, Justice Nial Fennelly, disagreed, arguing no evidence was offered that the boy would be harmed by leaving Ireland.

"The case is utterly unique and unprecedented," Fennelly wrote in his dissent, noting that neither the parental rights of sperm donors nor lesbian couples are defined in Irish law.

Neither side has been publicly identified, following Ireland's policy of granting anonymity to family law litigants.

The lesbian couple -- an Irishwoman and an Australian -- exchanged vows in January 2006, just after same-sex civil unions were legalized in the United Kingdom. The Irishwoman was pregnant by the Irish sperm donor, who signed a contract giving him visitation rights.

The boy, born in May 2006, has his biological father's name as his middle name, and the couple initially granted the man regular visits. But tensions quickly grew, both sides' lawyers agreed.

The couple restricted the man's access to the boy, then announced they planned to go to Australia for up to a year. The man filed two lawsuits -- one to restrict the trip and another seeking joint custody. The custody case is to be heard this fall.

Thursday's verdict upheld a judgment by High Court Justice Henry Abbott, who ruled the couple could take the boy to Australia for six weeks. The Supreme Court held that until the custody claim is considered, the boy should travel outside Ireland for only a limited period. (Shawn Pogatchnik, AP) "


daisy said...


How can I get ahold of you two? Someone has offered to donate embryos to us and I am so confused about the process. I was hoping you could help share what your redtape process was.
Thank you!

ivf2women said...

Hi Daisy,
Go to "my profile" on the right side of the blog posting. Put your cursor over "email". My address will appear at the bottom left of your screen. Glad to answer any qq's.